Hey there curly girl… I see you. Silently struggling over there. The truth is whether you choose to see it or not your hair is glorious. Many women want your hair, but few are blessed with it. The trick is learning how to harness all of that energy. Once you get that down it is much easier to tame the wild spirit your hair possesses and make it look “on purpose”. There are several steps to this magic. Don’t be overwhelmed because a lot of the process is not recurring, and eventually your hair should be very low maintenance.
Step 1: Acceptance is key. Curly hair is many things in addition to absolutely gorgeous. It is frizzy by nature, it is not even, it is wild, and it is NOT SMOOTH. As long as you are expecting your hair to be something that it is not you will be unhappy with it. I know it is disappointing to have expectations that can’t be met, but if you can see that your hair does not have to be smooth or even to be breath taking you can find a place of peace about your hair texture, and eventually learn to love it.
Step 2: Find a Curly Hair Stylist. Someone who has experience with cutting Curly Hair. A good Haircut makes a world of difference to Curly Girls. This is really important… most of the time anybody who is practiced and experienced enough will not be cheap. There are always exceptions to any rule, and I am sure there are many stylists who are amazing Curly Cutters but the odds are not in your favor. The good news is once you get your first appointment under your belt your Stylist can maintain the cut with a Dry Trim which is often less expensive then a full Haircut including shampoo and style.
Step 3: Let go of the idea that your Haircut has to be “even”. Curly hair is NOT EVEN. I call each little curl a ” Curl Family “. Some Curls are tighter and some are looser. Curls are like snowflakes no two Curl Families are exactly the same. If you apply tension and pull them straight down some will be longer and some will be shorter. If you pull it down and cut it even when the curl families spring up some will be super short and some will be longer depending on the curl pattern. TRUST ME on this… you do not want your hair cut “even”. If you feel that everything needs to be even, in order or completely balanced you will struggle endlessly with your curly hair.
Step 4: Don’t wash your hair every day. Curly hair is dry by nature. You need some of those natural oils to work their way down the hair shaft to keep your hair from being so dry. Instead just get in the shower and wet your hair. You can even condition the ends and comb with a wide tooth comb but skip the shampoo.
Step 5: Water activates your curl pattern so if your not a morning shower person keep a spray bottle of water handy to wet your curls and allow those curl families to reform after you have slept on them all night.
Step 6: Stop brushing your hair so much. Before your shower get a traditional hair brush and really brush that hair from scalp to ends. This will more evenly distribute your natural oils. The brush will pick oil up from the scalp and transfer it down the hair shaft to your dry ends. Cue the celebration! Then you can hop in the shower and reform your curl pattern. You can also detangle your hair with a wide tooth comb every time you condition. Other than these two moments you should not be brushing your curly hair at all. Brushing breaks up your curl families which causes all the frizz.
I know it can be frustrating to get used to a hair type that you never thought you wanted but if we can circle back to acceptance it really is the key to a long and happy life with your curls.